Michael Jackson Was a Fembot
Michael
Jackson Was a Fembot!
8/4/2009
New evidence has been released that the recent death of the super pop-cultural
celebrity, singer and entertainer Michael Jackson was a hoax. The actual Michael Jackson tragically died in
1977 when he contracted a fatal case of Legionnaires' Disease while performing
with the Jackson Five at
a Veteran's Hospital Benefit in the nations Capitol. Scheduled to star in The Wiz, Walt Disney ‘Imagineers’
created what many experts are now saying was the most successful robotic hoax
since Joseph Stalin,
which mesmerized the USSR for over a decade.
US News and Entertainment Corp released information that reveals that since Michael Jackson's actual
death in 1977, the entertainer the world knew and collectively adored was
actually a robot-like animatronic device engineered by the scientists of Disney
Worldring Industries.
First envisioned in the late fifties, when the untimely
death of teen star icon James Dean showed the movie industry the critical financial incentive to keeping
stars ‘alive’ past their deaths, robotic devices have captivated the American
Public for decades. Starting with Elizabeth Taylor, the first successful pop stars to be 'resurrected'
through the miracle of feminized robotic devises - or ‘Fembots’ - enjoyed lengthy careers unhindered by the actual mechanics
of living. These synthetic creations became actual puppets for CEO's of the
entertainment industry, creating pure revenue streams easily hidden through
creative accounting tricks coupled with public stories of profligate spending by
those 'crazy entertainers'.
Designed to capitalize on pop culture's whims, Michael
Jackson was the first successful male version of the Fembot, although
many argue that designers never got past their earlier female influences. Over
time, the marvelous singing, dancing and squeaking automaton was revised and
improved upon to add new dance moves and more life-like qualities. While the
verisimilitude of each new model was improved, the entire line of robotic
devices had been plagued by slip-shod construction, resulting in bizarre public
displays and inconsistent physical characteristics.
While later versions added longer interaction-simulations,
many experts now argue that the best version of the Michael Jackson
doppleganger was the original created for the production of the film The Wiz. Later versions had been
famously marred by programming glitches and poorly reasoned PR campaigns, as
when Never Land Ranch was created to make the Michael Jackson robot seem more
sympathetic to children.
The general appearance of the Michael Jackson impersonating
machine was modified over the years to reflect a changing taste for a ‘whiter’
entertainer, as determined by focus groups for Disney Worldring Industries. “Later
efforts to humanize the device, with short term marriages and adopted children,
only met with limited success,” says an expert in Social-Imagineering who
worked at Disney Worldring but could not reveal his identity pending an ongoing
Federal Investigation.
Many who were duped by the sly ingenious simulacrums are
now demanding amends. Jackson’s Mother-In-Law and known Fembot Pricilla
Presley may still be called on to
testify at upcoming congressional hearings on the preponderance of artificial
entertainment idols marketed to the American public. Congress is expected to
focus on whether Chinese manufacturers are partly to blame for our cherished
illusions being pierced. Alleged master criminal Diana Ross faces up to two hundred and fifty consecutive life
sentences for her part in the vast fraudulent conspiracy against the American
buying public.
In related news, President Barack Obama sat down for a beer last week with honored intellectual Henry
Louis Gates and Sergeant
James Crowley, the police sergeant who
arrested Gates in his own home. Sergeant Crowley called his beer "too
warm", Dr. Gates complained his beer was "too cold", but
President Obama called his beer "just right", thus ending over three
hundred years of racial tension in America.
